


You’re Not Him

by thiccnyoung



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Jinmark, M/M, Markjin, it's quite clear where this is going lmao, jinyoung’s in love with jaebum, jjp, jjproject, mark’s in love with jinyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 22:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19029433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiccnyoung/pseuds/thiccnyoung
Summary: Jinyoung wonders what it would be like if he was in love with Mark.Mark wishes Jinyoung was in love with him.





	You’re Not Him

It’s moments like these when—

 

When Mark cards his fingers through Jinyoung’s hair while gazing at him in a way that makes his heart beat a tad bit faster than usual. It’s like Mark’s looking at his whole world whenever he’s staring at Jinyoung, the tender and loving look ingrained in the younger’s brain.

 

When Mark kisses him on the very tip of his nose, his forehead, his cheeks, so gently placed and full of what Jinyoung wants to believe as _friendly_ affection. His kisses have never, _never_ been on the lips. Jinyoung wonders how that would feel like — How his body would react if that were to ever happen.

 

When Mark laughs, wholeheartedly without faking his laughter, at all his dumb jokes, no matter how unfunny they actually are. His laughter really is so beautiful, and it’s music to Jinyoung’s ears.

 

When Mark tells him he loves him, whispers it only for him to hear before sleep draws his eyes to a close, allowing him to slip into temporary, quiet bliss.

 

When Mark reassures him that he’s beautiful — And means it, every single time.

 

 _It’s moments like these when_ Jinyoung wonders what it would be like if he was in love with Mark, instead.

 

It’s moments like these when Jinyoung _wishes_ he was in love with Mark.

 

But he’s _not_.

 

As for Mark, he wishes he’s the one Jinyoung’s in love with. He’s never told Jinyoung this, never told him how he feels about him, either, but it’s there. The feelings are there, and the _want_ is still there. It’s hard not to imagine what it would be like if he were to be in Jaebum’s position — Holding Jinyoung’s hands, pressing kisses on his lips whenever he wants without restraining himself, loving him like no other person could.

 

He didn’t _ask_ to fall in love with someone who was never his to begin with.

 

It just happened.

 

_And now here he is._

 

So when Jinyoung says _this,_ his heart quickens and a million thoughts come spilling into his mind—

 

“You know, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if you were the one I was in love with. And admittedly, I don’t just wonder — I _wish_ I was in love you. Not always, but sometimes.”

 

The silence thereafter allowed for Mark to mull over the unexpected, unsolicited confession.

 

“Then why aren’t you?” Mark asks after a moment more of silence, sitting up so he could look at Jinyoung properly.

 

“Why aren’t I in love with you?” Jinyoung questions, quietly, staring ahead into the vast expanse of the plain, grassy field. “Because.”

 

“Because?” Mark repeats, trying hard not to sound desperate.

 

“You’re… Not _him_.”

 

Ah, of course.

 

He’s not Jaebum.

 

_Of course._

 

That’s the confirmation he needed to his own thoughts, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. In fact, it only made it more painful, coupled by the confession he _didn’t_ need. “I think you ought to know this,” he says, slowly, staring at Jinyoung’s side profile.

 

The younger hums in response, not once looking over at Mark who was staring at him. Maybe if he was looking at Mark, prior to and after his confession, he would have _seen_ exactly _when_ the older had lost all hope.

 

Mark exhales a soft sigh and looks away, up at the sky where the sun was sitting just behind the clouds, the forget-me-not blue doing nothing to make him feel at peace or feeling any better.

 

“I’ve _always_ wished I was him.” 

**Author's Note:**

> was this nonsensical? yes. am i sorry? yes.


End file.
